💔 The Two Things Every Relationship Needs to Work

She was stuck.

For years, I couldn’t figure out why my marriage failed.

There were so many reasons I could list — communication breakdowns, timing, stress, kids, work, money — all of it.

But none of them felt like the real reason.

It wasn’t until I started healing and unpicking my own patterns that I realised:

👉 we didn’t share the same values, and

👉 we didn’t support each other’s dreams.

And without those two things, love simply isn’t enough.

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💫 She was stuck.

Back then, I thought relationships were about compromise.

Meet halfway. Communicate more. Try harder.

But compromise without shared values is just quiet self-abandonment.

When your values are being squashed, your dreams start shrinking too.

You stop bringing up what excites you because it always turns into conflict or indifference.

You start walking on eggshells, editing yourself, dimming your opinions.

And it doesn’t happen in one big dramatic moment — it’s small, daily.

You wake up one day and realise your spark has gone out.

You don’t even recognise yourself anymore.

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🔑 Same Values. Same Vision.

It’s why some couples who look chaotic from the outside — like Ozzy and Sharon — somehow last.

They’re wild, messy, loud, but underneath it all, they share the same values.

They value loyalty, creativity, freedom — and they support each other’s madness.

That’s the secret ingredient.

Not perfection — alignment.

Love is an emotion, but values are the engine.

If you’re running on different fuel, the car won’t go anywhere.

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💬 You Can’t Change Someone — You Can Only Influence Them

Here’s the hard truth I wish I’d known sooner:

You can’t change someone’s values.

You can explain, plead, compromise, perform — but you can’t rewire what drives them.

If your partner values comfort and you value growth, you’ll always be pulling in opposite directions.

You’ll feel like the one dragging the relationship uphill.

And the more you try to “fix” it, the more disconnected you’ll become from yourself.

The shift begins when you stop asking, “Why won’t they change?”

…and start asking, “What do I truly value — and am I living by that?”

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✨ She Shifted.

When I finally understood that my marriage didn’t fail because I wasn’t enough — everything changed.

It failed because we were playing by completely different rule books.

Once I stopped trying to make it work and accepted that our values weren’t aligned, I finally had space to breathe again.

To dream again.

To rebuild my life based on my values — freedom, authenticity, peace, creativity, love that feels safe, not heavy.

And that’s the moment everything shifted.

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💭 The End.

If your relationship feels stuck, confusing, or heavy — don’t overanalyse every fight.

Just ask yourself two questions:

1. Do we share the same values?

2. Do we support each other’s dreams?

If the answer is no, that’s your truth.

And the truth is always the start of your next shift.

Because the only thing that will ever get you where you want to go… is a shift.

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💌 This is Her Shift.

Every week I share real stories, raw truths, and shifts that change everything — in relationships, self-worth, and life.

If you’re ready to move from stuck to powerful, join me over at The Room or catch the latest episode of the Her Shift Podcast.

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Discover the two essential things every relationship needs to last — shared values and mutual support for each other’s dreams. Learn how misalignment slowly erodes connection and how to recognise when it’s time to shift.

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